Wellbeing

Everything ‘Friends’ Taught Us About Maintaining Friendships As An Adult

Friends is objectively the greatest TV show of all time – sue me. And growing up, it was our first real insight into what grownup friendships look like and how they operate. You know, the kind of friendship that you choose to have, not the kind that you’re forced into through organised interaction like school or uni.

So what can we learn about maintaining adult friendships from Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, Joey, Chandler and Ross? A fair bit, as it turns out.

You might just grow out of your old friends, and that’s OK

Much like Rachel outgrowing and moving on from her OG friend group, you’re probably going to do the same.

And look, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sure it’s sad when you consider the years you’ve invested into the friendships, but the bottom line is that people change – some for the better, some for the worse. This isn’t to say you and those people can’t stay friendly, but they’re probably not going to be the people you want to spend all your spare time with.

Just think of it as making space for new pals who are going to build you up, support you and make you want to be a better person. They’re the best kind of friends.

Family can be friends too

The friendship of Monica and Ross is testament to this statement, and their relationship is maybe the sweetest one. They went from being siblings to best mates, and we think that’s just the best.

Don’t pass up your own siblings as being your friends, because honestly, they make the best ones.

Living together does bring you closer

Living under the same roof as one of your pals is going to bring you closer, whether you like it or not. True colours will be shown.

Sure they might leave spaghetti stains on your couch pillow, break your fancy plates you were saving for the Queen, saw your door in half trying to build an entertainment unit, or make you eat cookies over the sink, but you still love them nonetheless.

It’s like even the best of friendships go from a seven to a ten after living together. Unless of course you live with Chandler’s crazy roommate Eddie, in that case remind him you didn’t kill his fish and politely ask him to get the hell out.

It’s OK to fight

There’s this misconception that fighting with your friends is the worst thing in the world. Like yeah, it’s not fun but is it better to hash issues out when you’re confronted with them, or to hold on to the resentment and allow it to seriously damage the relationship?

It’s important to call your friend out on their BS when it arises.

If you find out your pal has started dating your ex, don’t repress that anger, put him in a big wooden box to think about his actions.

Don’t borrow money from your friends

Honestly, borrowing money from friends is more trouble than it’s worth – we advise steering clear of it all together.

If you do, make sure to pay them back, and promptly. If you borrow $500 from your pal for your new catering business, make paying them back a priority when you turn profit.

Nobody wants to pull a Monica, amirite? 

It’s important to keep the good ones close

It’s no secret that making and maintaining friendships as an adult is hard, so it’s important to acknowledge the good ones, and make an effort to keep them around.

This means going to visit even if they live a little while away, or making plans to catch up on the regular over a cup of coffee.

You can stay friends with your ex

Just because you thought you found your lobster, then were on a break and broke up doesn’t mean you can’t stay friends. TBH, can’t relate but hey, maybe it’ll work for you!

There you go. Next time someone’s on your back for refusing to watch new shows because Friends re-runs are life, just tell them you’re too busy learning life lessons to hear their dumb opinions


Bradley is a writer from regional NSW and he didn’t come here to make friends, he came to win. He tweets infrequently to his 43 followers @bradjohnston_.