Reddit Users Shared Their Worst Dating Stories To Make You Feel Better About Being Alone
The dating world is a weird and wonderful thing. Meeting up with someone new usually goes one of three ways: pretty good, OK or sweet baby Jesus the legit worst experience of your life.
Let’s focus on those not so nice dating experiences straight from the threads of Reddit for a hot minute to make us feel better about being desperately being totally fine with the fact we’re single and alone.
When the picture is a few (nine) months old…
“Showed up to the date and the girl was pregnant, VERY pregnant. Like holy crap how did you get here on your own, should I be worried about your water breaking any minute?
No mention of her being pregnant anywhere on her profile, not even a hint about it.” – DasCthulhu
Three is company
“I spent two hours on a date with a guy. He spent half an hour talking about his clarinet. Then he talked at length about the six-year relationship he just got out of.
“Then, after two hours, we’re leaving and he calls me Emily. My name is not Emily. Best part is that because he just broke up with his girlfriend, he just moved into a new apartment… in my building.” – SomeoneThrewMyShoe
She realised you were a giant bee?
“It went very well except she is allergic to bees. And guess what happened halfway through the date?” – jboy814
“I went on a date with a girl who said she loved playing pranks on people and being pranked. So on our first date I took her to Montana’s and told the staff secretly it was her birthday.
When they brought out the big hat and song, she broke into tears and ran out of the restaurant.
I ate her dessert.” – TheBigDsOpinion
Better out than in?
“She kept farting. I didn’t say anything but it was like every 10 minutes.” – Silentkabob
This is… a lot
“She told me she had a dream years ago where she died in a car accident. Ever since she refuses to ride in any vehicle so we walked 30 minutes to the bar.
“She then revealed she’s married but “it’s cool”. Said her favourite love story was some guy that dug up a woman’s corpse and kept it at home. She stole my beer when I was in the bathroom, which was fine, but she lied about it for some reason and tried to sneak the empty to the bartender.
“Then she got so drunk she puked herself. Then there was an hour-long walk to get her home as she stopped to puke on the sidewalk.
“There was not a second date”. – MoneyMoneyDocs
An opportunity worth missing out on
“A childhood friend of mine asked me to go to dinner after we ran into each other at a party. I thought this would be great, as she had gotten pretty cute since last time I’d seen her and it was all was going well when we were texting.
“I met her at the restaurant and to my surprise there was a middle-aged, business-looking guy there as well. As soon I sat down both of them tried to recruit me to a one of those pyramid marketing schemes.
“After I declined and went home I would get texts regularly over the next month asking me what went wrong and why I didn’t want to make all this easy money. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even get to order dinner as well.” – jex_head
“We talked about avocados for an hour because it was the only thing we had in common.” – MoneyMoneyDocs
A brush with actual insanity
“I walked her to her car, where she took my hat in an effort to be playful. I played along for a bit then grabbed my hat back, at which point she BIT me hard on my arm, through my pleather jacket.
I told her that was not acceptable and that I had to go… damn she proved to be cray-cray and left a nasty fist sized bruise on my bicep along with teeth marks”. – Duchebagel
“I took a girl out and we both did Borat impressions for most of the date and ate pizza, six years later we’re engaged.” – Pokefan982144
Moral of the story is that yeah, last night’s date might have been rubbish but it’s probably not as bad as these stories.
Except for that last one, it’s just there to remind us that love isn’t totally dead.
(Lead Image: There’s Something About Mary)
Bradley is a writer from regional NSW and he didn’t come here to make friends, he came to win. He tweets infrequently to his 43 followers @bradjohnston_.