Strangers Share Their Biggest Workplace Mistakes

Have you ever made some workplace mistakes so bad that you’re convinced it’s the worst thing to happen to anyone in existence, ever?

Well, the weird and wonderful people from the threads of Reddit are here to tell you that you’re not the worst, because they are.

It was over before it even began

“I showed up in person to a phone interview.” – NotCleverNamesTaken

Honestly, worth it

“14 years ago I tried to cook pizza rolls in the company microwave. Long story short I cooked them for the oven time and not the microwave time. There was a small fire and the office had to be cleared out for the day.” – bashido

Uh oh, spaghetti-o

“Driving a fork truck into a line of new Volvos.” – Lax

“Bread cakes”

“A long time ago when I worked in foods, I forgot to put salmon and crab in the salmon crab cakes, and didn’t tell anyone because I was embarrassed.

“People were paying $18 for bread cakes. I still feel guilty.” – 4ofclubs

Every hospitality worker’s worst nightmare 

“I worked for a catering company when I was 16. While working a pretty fancy wedding, I was tasked with pouring champagne at the bride and groom’s table.

“I had never even opened a champagne bottle, so I obviously hadn’t poured any either.

“I managed to spill champagne all over the bride, immediately after blasting her in the face with the cork.” – haypulpo

Super vague and not sure if we want more info

“Accidentally stabbed colleague.” – user deleted.

Totally normal day at the office  

“I accidentally spilled coconut sprinkles over some gold plated space parts bound for a Japanese satellite. Oops.” – Erroneous_Rex

You literally had one job

“A murderer escaped from prison on my watch last November.” – Varitul

An actual state of emergency

“Accidentally turned off 911 service for the entire city of San Diego once. It was only for about thirty seconds, but made me feel bad.” – siblbombs

Wurst case scenario

“I’m a robotic engineer and was working a job at a sausage-packing factory. I set the payload parameters too low, and to make a long story short, everyone went home that day having been sausage slapped by a robot.

“I set the payloads too low, so the robot thought it was carrying something lighter. It moved so fast it lost suction on the sausage in its vacuum gripper, sending these fat honey garlic missiles across the room and down the assembly line.

“That also happened to be where the entrance was.” – king_bestestes

Not me, but a new guy

“Manager told the new guy to ‘drop a bag of mozz sticks in the fryer for me’ he acted a little confused, then said ‘uh okay…’ and dropped the whole bag, unopened, into the fryer.” – petdragon42

Can’t relate…

“Being more drunk than any of the customers I was serving while bartending.” – Maccas75

Snakes are friends, not trash

“I work at a pet store. I accidentally threw a snake away. I was cleaning the bedding and didn’t see him buried in his. I dumped it.

“Two to three days later my department manager brought it back to me after finding it in the receiving garbage. Somehow I didn’t get in trouble. Snake was fine.” – lgyure85

Check yourself before you wreck yourself

“Not at work but on a job application, I accidentally checked the box that I was a registered sex offender. (Emphasis on accidentally)

“Surprisingly, I didn’t get the job.” – tcalhoon

Next time you’re worried you’ve made some really terrible workplace mistakes, seek comfort in the fact you didn’t stab anyone. Unless of course you did, in that instance call an ambulance.

(Lead Image: The IT Crowd)

Bradley is a writer from regional NSW and he didn’t come here to make friends, he came to win. He tweets infrequently to his 43 followers @bradjohnston_.