Stuff You Can Do Today To Feel Like A Functioning Adult

Do you ever question your status as a fully-fledged adult human person? Maybe you still don’t feel comfortable scheduling your appointments, perhaps you’re used to taking the “if I don’t acknowledge you, you don’t exist” approach to debt or hey, maybe you just haven’t cooked a proper meal in six to nine months.

Now look, grownup tasks are bleak AF, you don’t have to try and convince us. But if you want to fool your friends, family and colleagues into thinking you are in fact an adult and not two babies in a trench coat, we’ve got just the solution.

Change your sheets

When was the last time you changed your sheets? Actually no, we don’t want to know… just know that if it’s been longer than a week or two, it’s time to chuck those babies in the wash.

Doing laundry is sucky, but snuggling up in some fresh sheets is so totally worth it, and can even better your mental health. Invest in some nice smelling fabric softener and you’re on to a winner.

Pay your bills

Paying bills is nobody’s idea of fun. Actually, it’s very much the absolute worst thing you have to do as an adult. But we reckon it’s best to bite the bullet and get them paid as soon as they pop up so you can wipe your hands clean of them – out of sight out of mind.

You can set up automatic transfers so they sort of just sneak out of your account without you having to think about it, or you can pay them as soon as your pay is deposited. Not only will they be done and dusted, but also it makes it a little easier when you sit down to plan out your monthly budget.

Clean your car

It doesn’t take much for your car to go from being spotless to a skip bin on wheels. Do yourself a favour and give your car a good clean.

We’re talking fishing under the passenger seat for old takeaway bags, removing the 8,680 water bottles, getting that sandy towel out of the boot from that time you went to the beach back in 2008, and sorting out all of the scratched mix CDs you burned back in high school.

While you’re there, pop the hood and check the oil and coolant levels. Sounds annoying, but trust us, it’s better than having to pay $600 when your radiator explodes on your way to work.

Cook something… anything

In an age where our phones harness the power to summon delivery guys to our door with pad Thai in 20 minutes or less at any hour of the day, it’s easy to fall into a habit of just flat out not using the kitchen.

But you guys, cooking is the best! It’s certainly cheaper, it’s often healthier and, if nothing else, you’ll get a sense of achievement from creating something that will give your body energy.

If you need more inspo, just think how impressed your colleagues will be when you rock up to work with something fancy as hell in a Tupperware container. They’ll no doubt think you’re more put together than you actually are. Maybe you’ll feel that way, too.

Book a doctor’s appointment without crying

Bills aren’t the worst part about being an adult… we take it back! It’s having to actually pick up the phone and book your own appointments.

Gone are the days of getting your mum chuck sickies for you, or book doctor’s appointments – you’re on your own now pal. If it’s been a hot minute since you’ve been to the dentist or you’re due for a check up at the doctor, just make the call.

Once you’ve called, find the closest mirror, look yourself dead in the eyes and say “I’m a winner,” because you are. Love you xo.

Eat a piece of fruit

Easy, healthy, takes five minutes and you’ll feel more put together. Um, skinny legend alert!?

Make plans (and follow through with them) 

Making plans is such a commitment, but when you’re the friend who promises your mates you’ll hang with them then always bail last minute it can be frustrating.

So make some plans and FOLLOW THROUGH. Your friends will appreciate it, and it’s nice to get out and socialise.

There you go – our work is done. Now go forth and be the best adult you can be.

(Lead Image: American Hustle)

Bradley is a writer from regional NSW and he didn’t come here to make friends, he came to win. He tweets infrequently to his 43 followers @bradjohnston_.