In Defence Of Dating Apps: Why It’s OK To Swipe Right
Sex and relationships expert Dr Nikki Goldstein weighs in on the benefits of app dating.
We all love to hate dating apps. Most of us have been on them at some point in our lives, many of us have dated on them and many have been inundated with dick pics, requests for casual sex or been ghosted by someone we thought seemed keen. Welcome to the modern world of app dating!
No one admits to taking dating apps too seriously yet it seems to be how so many people meet. The game-like concept hooks us in, with excitement levels rising for each match and ‘hello’ we receive and it turns the dating world into one of options.
And while some argue these options have made people distracted and disposable, most modern daters are aware of the risks and downside. So for a change, let us celebrate the benefits of being able to swipe right.
#1 It’s coming up to winter and no one wants to leave the house
As the warmer months come to an end and beach parties, BBQs and a general desire to leave the couch are in decline, it shouldn’t mean your dating life has to as well. You might want someone to snuggle with and keep you warm, and you have to eat at some stage as well.
But in the cooler months, you might be less likely to meet someone due to a decrease in social gatherings and wanting to hibernate inside. Before dating apps, how did we actually date in winter?
#2 It decreases your obsessive tendencies over one person
During the beginning stages of dating someone, there are always questions around how much you should call, text and want to catch up. When you’ve just got one person on your mind, it’s easy for things to escalate and inevitably come across too keen.
When you’re app dating and chatting to people online, they’re often talking to other people (and so are you) – which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can make the competitive side of dating more difficult, sure, but if you’re that person who has obsessive tendencies, it can give you the right amount of distraction to stop you appearing too over the moon.
If you share your dating excitement across a few people, then hopefully your attention needs will be satisfied and you won’t drive anyone away. And keep in mind that if you do feel a stronger connection with one person and things get more serious, you’ll eventually have to decide if there is room for everyone in your life.
#3 Women can take the reigns
It’s not to say that woman can’t pick up men in the flesh, but it can be more difficult and intimidating when a woman is faced with making that first move. On apps, a woman can easily send the message that she’s interested by a simple swipe or hello, still giving space for a guy to peruse or chase. It’s a win-win situation for both sexes.
Many men are scared to approach women out of fear of rejection and many women feel the same. If you’ve matched or said hello to someone, the intent to start a conversation is out there, and it’s a safer bet that rejection isn’t on the cards.
Any advance in technology comes with discovering downsides and upsides. With app dating, you have a choice on whether you buy into the negativity or focus on what these apps can bring to your life: more dates and a bit of fun.
#4 It’s a great way to practice dating
Most people have a fear of dating. What will you say? What happens if there is awkward silence? What happens is he/she doesn’t like me? Dating can be a lot of fun but there are also certain fears that cross someone’s mind that might even see them shutting down to the idea of a date.
The longer someone stays tuned out to the dating game, the harder it is to get back into it. This is where app dating can be a great and easy transition. Matching and talking to people online can give someone not only practice at a conversation with a flirty edge, but be the transition they need to get back into the game slowly and with options to choose from.
Dr Nikki Goldstein is the author of #singlebutdating, regularly contributes to a variety of publications, can be heard nationally across our radio waves and appears onscreen regularly within Australia and globally.