Here Are All The Ways Science Says Our Phones Are Ruining Our Lives

We revolve around the tiny computers in our pockets. They’re our calendars, our social lives, we use them to summon food. They’re the holy carriers of the world’s knowledge. They get us home safe when drunk on a Friday night. They put a flower crown on our head and make our face look poreless. They’re everything we need and don’t at the same time.

But of course, they’re very bad for us. Probably. Phones give you brain cancer, or maybe they don’t. They might make men infertile, but probably not. But they do lots of other bad things… We think. The studies on the impact of phones on our health are as numerous as they are confusing. So many crop up, then get shot down, then crop back up again (~you’re never gonna keep them down~).

What we do know is that mobile phones haven’t been around long enough for us to fully understand their impact. But researchers have been trying their best, anyway.

Here are some of the things that we’re pretty sure mobile phones are doing to our health, according to Science (and one member of the royal family). Excuse me while I sigh from a place of deep despair.

Mobile phones give you ADHD

Our mobile phones are making us as fidgety and distracted as nine-year-old me in Maths class. Yep, researchers hypothesise that smartphones are making us so obsessed and distracted that we exhibit the same symptoms as attention deficit disorder. Cool.


Mobile phones stop you from sleeping

The fluorescent beaming from our screens is making us so wired that we can’t shut off our brains. A recent study from Griffith and Murdoch Universities found that when teens text well into the night, they have lots of trouble falling asleep.

“We found that late night phone use directly contributed to poor sleep habits, which over time led to declines in overall wellbeing and mental health,” researcher for the study Dr Vernon said. Fantastic.

Mobile phones are the new cigarettes

Aw, man. Can we stop dubbing other things the ‘new cigarettes’ when we still have cigarettes around? It’s not the bubonic plague, cigarettes are still an issue in 2017. Let’s not get distracted!

Mobile phones give you carpal tunnel

broad city

Texting is making my hands arthritic and stiff?! A study has found that more than half of young people have reported strained writers and fingers after five hours of typing, texting and swiping.

I mean, duh. If you do it for five hours in a row every single day, of course you’re going to have problems. If there are actual people out there that are active on their phone for five hours a day and it’s not for a reason that makes them money, they need to take a long hard look at themselves.

Mobile phones make you stupid

To top it all off,  having our mobile phones near us makes us big, dumb babies. A study from the University of Chicago found that if your phone is within reach, even face down on the table, you’ll be so distracted by its presence that you’ll find it impossible to focus on the task at hand.

It’s an argument that explains why we naturally reach for our phone when we’re trying to find an answer to a question. Rather than just figuring it out in our brain, we result to googling the answer. Challenge yourself, you guys. I’m sick of these studies proving me wrong.

Mobile phones prevent you from walking properly

Think you’re an okay walker? Well, if you’ve got a phone, think again!

Reports of phone-related walking injuries have risen dramatically in recent years. Stumbling, running into things, tripping on steps and stairs and walking out onto the road while using a phone have seen thousands of people in the United States end up in the ER.

There was also a recent study conducted to see what impact phone usage would have on the way that people walked. Turns out, when you’re using your phone while walking, you’re much slower, more wobbly and you completely change your rhythm and technique.

john cleese

Maybe try not to text and walk. Definitely don’t text and drive.

Mobile phones make Prince Harry hate your guts

Well, kind of. Not really. Prince Harry is urging us all to use our phones less because it’s bad for our mental health. He thinks everyone will be a little more “effective and efficient” if they took some time away from screens to think. And he’s probably right.

Harry, pls love us :'(

Everything in moderation, you guys. Including mobile phone usage.

(Lead image: The OC)

You can find Josephine’s words in Junkee, The Guardian, The Cusp, AWOL and on food she bagsed in the fridge.