Strangers Share Their Worst Breakup Stories And They Will Haunt You
Having someone breakup with you is the pits. It’s sucky, makes you feel like human garbage and can leave you feeling down in the dumps for a while.
Reckon your last breakup sucked? Oh baby, you ain’t seen nothing yet.
We took to the wonderfully weird threads of Reddit to find the worst of the worst breakup stories for your entertainment, and to make you feel better about your current situation.
Got to love someone who recycles during a breakup
“During the breakup, he took all of the old love letters I had written him, cut them up and arranged words to make a desperate note to me, ransom-note style, then showed up to my work to hand deliver it.” – thymeconsuming
“She had her stepsister call my parents’ phone (I didn’t have one back then) to breakup with me. Except my dad answered so she told him it was over.
“He simply said, ‘I think you want to talk to my son.’ Looking back I think it’s hilarious.” – bpelts
What’s mine is yours
“We had been living together for two years and it hadn’t been going well – she said she wanted to move out. I thought OK, c’est la vie. She said she wanted her clothes, the big TV and her kitchen stuff, and moved out that weekend, taking them with her.
“Three weeks later I came home from work, opened the door to the apartment and it was empty – totally. She came back and took everything!
“That’s the day I learned to change the locks when a partner leaves.” – Damocles2010
He’s a little bit country crazy
“He made me a mix CD of him singing covers of country songs with little explanations of why they made him think of me. At the end of the CD was a 10-minute rant of him yelling at me for breaking his heart.
“His friend hand-delivered it in a gift wrapped box. He also chalked my route to school with notes like, ‘I love you’ and ‘please take me back’.” – deyounsc
Should’ve split it
“They took a knife and tried to cut off a third of my mattress, because she had put a few dollars towards.” – joshconan
Overdramatic? Maybe. Worth it? Definitely.
“In my senior year of high school, I dated a guy who I had been a good friend with for ages. We had an OK relationship.
“Then, on our two-month anniversary (at the time it seemed like quite the commitment) he dumped me over coffee, saying that he sometimes forgot that I was his girlfriend. At that point I dramatically sauntered out of the Starbucks with him trailing behind me muttering apologies.
“I jumped into my car, and right before I slammed the door shut I yelled, ‘No one forgets me!’ as it started to rain. The whole boring relationship was worth it just so that I could experience such a cinematic moment.” – bowtiebear
If you can’t beat ’em, join’ em!
“After I broke up with my high school boy friend of more than three years, he seriously considered asking my parents to adopt him. We were 17.” – chamomile_tea
What’s the opposite of a serenade?
“My girlfriend of a year broke up with me by sending a video of herself singing a breakup song that she wrote. It included a backup dancer (one of my good friends).
“I was at a party at the time she sent it and I foolishly played it aloud so all my pals could hear it, and hear my heartbreak.” – beingDevisor
“A game of hangman. ‘I want to be single,’ was the phrase that I has to guess. Needless to say I cried walking the 5km home.” — DanielSpanjar
Nowhere is safe
“Back in college I had a girlfriend breakup with me through my therapist. Came to therapy and was told by the therapist that my girlfriend didn’t want to see my anymore.
“I told the therapist how unprofessional this was, and then broke up with my therapist.” – technicallywriting
Happy birthday! Oh, by the way…
“My sister got broken up with in her birthday card. Yeah, he gave her a birthday card in which he wrote, ‘I want to break up’.” – Joegodownthehole
“ Via Facebook messenger on my birthday, which was also prom night.” – kahleesky
It’s undeniable that being broken up with suuuuucks. When you care about someone and they end things, it can feel like the worst thing to ever happen – a pain so indescribable and something that surely nobody has ever experienced before.
Just know that with time it’ll get better. Or at least try to gain some comfort in the fact you didn’t get dumped via music video. Unless of course you did… in that case, my condolences.
Responses have been edited for style and clarity.
(Lead Image: Friends)
Bradley is a writer from regional NSW and he didn’t come here to make friends, he came to win. He tweets infrequently to his 43 followers @bradjohnston_.